


Warmth

by smooth_operaptor



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-17 23:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17570090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smooth_operaptor/pseuds/smooth_operaptor
Summary: People taking care of each other in the Last University. Ephrim-centric because he deserves it.





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SnitchNightly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnitchNightly/gifts).



> I hope you all enjoy this :D

"Morbash said you weren’t at roll call and Rosana said she didn’t see you the last few days. Have you eaten anything yet?" came Throndir’s voice from the door.

Ephrim instinctively cradled his hand to his chest but turned around with his chair. He blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the low light behind him. Throndir opened the door fully and came in, a bowl of stew in his hand. Ephrim made some space on his desk and let Throndir set the food down. Throndir took a step back but wasn’t leaving. There was a beat too much of silence.

"Listen, this is nothing—" "Is it the hand?"

Throndir furrowed his brow slightly. Ephrim let his right arm sink into his lap. His gloves lay on his nightstand, a few steps away. He looked back at Throndir, Kodiak behind him in the doorway. He didn’t have the energy to do this now. He glanced down at the hole in his hand and tightened his fist over it.

"You don’t have to hole up alone in your room," Throndir said, "I’m sure we have some medicine against the pain."

Ephrim ran his hand through his hair.

"To be honest that’s only half of it?" he finally said. "I mean, sure, I didn’t want people to see how much this hurts, but there’s also too much work to do?" He grimaced slightly and reached over to the papers on his desk.

"Throndir we don’t have enough food. We don’t have enough firewood," his hand stung, "I wracked my brain over this the whole day. More people are going to suffer." 

Throndir put his hand on the armrest of his chair and half-crouched before him.

"We‘ll do our best to keep that from happening. But your health is important too. Reach out, and we’re here for you."

Throndir looked at him expectantly with his deep open eyes.

Ephrim pressed his lips together and put on a brave face. 

Throndir’s face fell in the slightest and he drew back. Kodiak whined at the door. There was only stale, cold air between them suddenly.

"Think about your responsibility to the others, if that helps?"

Ephrim nodded reluctantly.

"Thanks for the soup."

"It’s the least I could do."

Kodiak barked.

Throndir held eye-contact for a moment longer, then turned around to leave.

Ephrim reached for the spoon as his door gently closed. Doing paperwork was too much right now. Maybe he would think clearer after a meal. The stew was only luke-warm and his right hand prickled.

If they had to ration firewood, better it helped someone else who needed it more. 

He stuck the spoon back in the bowl and leaned back. His fire itched under the skin of his hand and he needed to _know_.

Probably shouldn’t do this indoors, but he wasn’t the Immolator for nothing. And it was safer where no one could see him. He put his mind to rest as best as he could and focused.

There was no flame when he tried. Instead a cruel purple shadow twisted over his fingers. He felt his hand gnaw away at itself faster. The pain was worse than it had been ever before.

He buried his face in his other arm and clenched his teeth until the pain subsided. Now his hand felt completely numb instead.

Without looking at it, he went over the few steps to his nightstand. The shadow extinguished when he put the gloves on, although he became sure he couldn’t see his fingers anymore. His forearm ached. He pressed it against his chest and turned around.

The stew stood cold and untouched on his desk. His appetite was gone. There was a tension in his chest and he couldn’t tell whether he needed to retch or cry. His teeth were clenching and he didn’t get enough air.

There was a worry stone on his shelf.

Ephrim grabbed it and stumbled over to sit down heavily on the bed.

The engraving of a golden sun felt so worn under his thumb. 

The grain of the wooden floor gave him enough to focus on until he could finally breathe easy again. He hung his head between his knees and counted deep breaths.

 _One._ He would get up and eat the damned food.  
_Two._ He would go get some sleep.  
_Three._ He would go out tomorrow to show everyone he was alright.  
_Four._ He would find Throndir and talk things over with him.  
_Five._ He would make everything better.  
_Six._ Everything would be alright.  
_Seven._ It would be alright.

 

Early in the morning, Ephrim tried to sneak out to the kitchens for some breakfast. He got a dozen steps down the hallway when Highwater snapped awake behind him. There was some rustling as she stood up from her chair beside his door and stretched. Without comment, she strode as quickly as she could to catch up with him.

Ephrim slowed down to match her cobbin pace, but didn’t further acknowledge her.

They were awake early enough to hear birds starting to wake up. Here and there came some low sunlight through drafty shutters.

They were nearly at the kitchens when Highwater spoke up.

"I trust you, Sir."

Ephrim looked at her in surprise, but she marched on straight ahead.

"Times may be tough, but we all know what we signed up for. I believe if anyone knows how to keep us safe, it’s you. I’d rather be here with you looking out for us, than out there on my own."

She cleared her throat.

They stopped in front the back entrance of the kitchen. Ephrim had the dirty soup bowl in his hands and couldn’t decide on a properly dignified gesture.

"I— thank you."

Highwater gave him an encouraging pat on the knee. He almost couldn’t tell she was embarrassed. 

Ephrim nodded at her and entered the kitchen. Not willing to disturb whatever ration plan the cooks were working on, he just topped off his bowl with some leftover stew.

"Highwater, do you want something to eat, too?"

She popped her head through the door.

"No thank you, I’ll eat later with the guard after roll-call."

Ephrim took an apple from a crate and let her close the door behind him. They made their way back to his room.

"Will _you_ be at roll-call today?" she asked, "I think it would boost morale."  
He thought about it for a second, then shook his head.

"Maybe next week. I still don’t feel too great. You can be my official representative if you like?"

She looked at him and he put on a winning smile.

"Not that hard of a job, I’m mostly known for my good looks."

They arrived back at his room and she nodded in appreciation.

"Of course. As long as we get to see them in person next time."

 

The day had come and gone and Morbash was dead. They buried him the following day.

The sun burned down from the clear blue afternoon sky, yet the air was still slightly cool.

On the other side of the hill, Rosana saw the last mourners off. She indicated for Benjamin to go stay with Blue J somewhere close and came over to Ephrim, who leaned on a boulder and had his face buried in his hands to collect his thoughts.

"Thank you for leading the prayers today. Your words helped a lot of them."

Ephrim sighed, then nodded once. Eventually, he looked up at her and squinted his eyes.

"I’m not used to the daylight anymore after that dark winter," he laughed and cleared his throat.

He shaded his eyes and turned to look back at the university. Highwater was still waiting near the entrance of the cemetery and had her arms crossed behind her. Rosana watched him intently.

"I suspected as much. You are always welcome in our congregation, still. Whatever happened is between you and Samothes," she touched a ring on her hand and smiled warmly, "Though I believe he’d always welcome you back with open arms."

Ephrim took his hand down and made a show of adjusting his cloak pins until he could look her in the face.

"Until then, I’m grateful for whatever light you and Benjamin bring."

Rosana bowed her head. She looked over at Benjamin and Blue J who were leaning against an old birch, deep in an animated discussion. 

"That boy has a fire in him," she shook her head fondly, "That makes me cherish every day he’s with me."

Ephrim relaxed his shoulders and smiled at her. A strong breeze passed over them.

"Have you talked to Throndir yet?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets and felt for the worry stone. Its warmth spread quickly into his cold fingers as he played with it absent-mindedly.

"Didn’t find the time yet. I’m gonna look for him before dinner, I think."

"Good. Good."

The breeze turned and carried some distant bird calls over to them. It ruffled through the birches on the graveyard until Benjamin and Blue J came over.

"Why aren’t you wearing your jacket? You’re going to catch a cold," Rosana asked her son.

"Blue J was freezing and I don’t mind. Can we go home now?"

Rosana wrapped an arm around her son’s shoulder.

"My, when did _you_ become such a kind young genteman?" she teased him.

Benjamin ducked out of his mother’s hug and threw his hands up. His ears were flame-red and Blue J was snickering off to the side, the coat hugged close.

Ephrim leaned over and placed the worry stone gently on Morbashes‘ grave. He half-bowed to it and left with the others.

 

Ephrim’s knuckles hovered over the door to Throndir’s room. The two hadn’t talked since that evening. 

Highwater coughed. He knocked on the door, unnecessarily loud and rhythmical. He adjusted his gloves and soothed over his left hand.

"Coming!" came from inside.

Ephrim squared up his shoulders.

"Hey Thron-" "Oh hey, what’s up, what’s going on?"

"You know, just wanted to see if you’d wanna grab something to eat? Heard the stew is good today."

"No, yeah, of course, that sounds great. Let me get my coat real quick."

This already felt much easier than he’d anticipated.

There was only a murmur of people in the dining hall. Few looked over when the three of them entered.

They sat down near a western window with stew and some bread and ate in silence while the sun set.

Throndir seemed perfectly content but why was Ephrim still so tense then? He was unsure if he should apologize or thank Throndir for yesterday.

"You wanna go come to the underground garden with me? It’s quieter there."

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

 

They cleared out their corner just as the big dinner rush hit. Ephrim stopped here and there to talk with some, but they reached the exit in good time.

The night air wasn’t too cold yet. Further west, on the horizon, the sunset faded into the ultramarine by way of an astonishing green. Ephrim dismissed Highwater for the night. Low fog began to waft past as they left the campus. 

"Um, by the way, thank you for checking up on me a couple days ago."

"Wh- oh, no of course."

The silence felt cloying, like the distinct smell of pipe leaf. He shook it off.

"No, but really. I do appreciate it."

"Oh. Well… I knew you could push through it. But… Ephrim?"

"Yeah?"

"Please tell someone before it gets that bad again."

"Alright."

"There’s been people I tried to help who wouldn’t get out of their own head enough to accept that."

"Huh."

Ephrim relaxed his shoulders and breathed in deeply.

"Throndir?"

"Yeah?“

"How are _you_ holding up?"

"Oh, um, you know, fine."

"Have you seen that Red Jack’s kid got your bow?" he blurted out and immediately grimaced.

"Yeah," Throndir’s voice was even softer now, "I put it away when Carrot left."

"Oh. You… wanna talk about it?"

"I don’t know. No use getting into it too deep."

They arrived at the entrance to the garden. Ephrim took a torch to guide their way down.

"I mostly gotta think it over some more, but-" he paused and Ephrim glanced at him until he added, "I don’t think I can go back."

Ephrim mulled that over for a few steps.

"That’s rough, buddy."

Throndir chuckled.

Before them, the tunnel opened up into a cave. Ephrim went around the cave walls to light the other torches, while Throndir crouched down to inspect some of the dead plants.

"When was the last time someone was down here?" his voice echoed, even over the small distance between them.

Ephrim tucked his torch into a sconce and rubbed his eyes.

"Uh. A while. Figured we could use the resources somewhere else if these fuckers just kept dying off."

Throndir turned in his crouch, held up a dark green clump of plants against the light, and squinted at it.

"Well here might be some good news," he finally announced, "I think I know how to turn this into fuel."

Ephrim blinked. Throndir stood up.

"Um, wow, I didn’t expect that, that’s great."

Throndir raised his hand, reconsidered, let the plants drop, and gestured over the rest of the cave.

"I think all of this should get us," he paused to calculate, "A few more months before we have to worry."

Ephrim stepped closer to the bed and nudged some of the plants with his shoe.

"I’ll get someone on it as soon as possible. Do you think if we can clear all this out we might finally have some fresh water too?"

"Oh, for sure! We’re closer to the groundwater here."

"This can’t be that easy," Ephrim shook his head in disbelief.

"It isn’t. This is just a lucky break."

Throndir grinned at him. Ephrim felt laughter bubbling up as the anxious knot in his chest finally loosened. Throndir opened his arms and they hugged.

There were many more hard days ahead of them, Ephrim thought, but they were gonna make it through.


End file.
